• About

dearapples

dearapples

Category Archives: New York City

24 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by marie in dear apples, illustrations, journal, New York City, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

everyday poems, just because, New York City

Dear Apples,

Life is quite topsy turvy these days and the future holds a bit too many question marks for my liking.  I know that life in general will always be full of question marks, and that’s not so much the problem I suppose.  I think the crux of the matter is that I am being plagued with these aggressive little impulses to do something, start something, point this unique composition of me towards a place where it can do good, and yet! the direction and concrete vision are nowhere to be found.  It’s been said that necessity is the mother of invention, and while I wait for this poignant neediness to give birth to innovation, I retreat to the small things.

morning rituals

It’s more important these days to tend to the plants and go for walks in the evening, to enjoy breakfasts, to look out the window and hear the music and see the people, to put myself into my work, to think of the whole instead of zeroing in on pieces that are broken.  Most of all to try to remember that the world is a great big orb holding billions of lives, and mine is small and the whole picture is not about me, so my best option is to make the best of what I have and do what I can in the space I occupy and love the ones around me.  There’s a certain comfort in insignificance.  Today I ran off to Central Park in my lunch hour and meditated for awhile, because although urgent tasks press in for my immediate attention, what can I give from a dried up place?  Although today is confusing, tomorrow is on it’s way and then the next day, and as I walked up the stairs to my room today I realized again as I have before that hope is a living thing, always always sitting there, never denying itself to those who choose it.

reading tree

Manhattan Memories

11 Thursday Sep 2014

Posted by marie in everyday poems, New York City

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

everyday poems, New York City

IMG_2844

It’s homecoming today and
the normalcy of a morning walk
down Lexington Avenue, you in
your suit and I in my thick amber
sweater, holding your hand between
sips of coffee and looking about
distractedly, because you’re alongside
me and my mind can safely wander.
Then returning to a bowl of oatmeal
with strawberries and savoring it as I
savor you, watching last night as
you dressed, just as you have all
your life before I had access to
your ordinary as I do
now.

Transience

10 Wednesday Sep 2014

Posted by marie in dear apples, everyday poems, journal, New York City, travel

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

home, roots, travel

Dear Apples,

When so much is in a state of up-in-the-air uncertainty, what is it that roots you?  It seems this life of constant motion requires a perpetual diving, downward and deeper to the discovery of beginnings.  I can look ahead with expectation and anticipation, but first I gather up the core parts, so that I don’t unravel as I go.  Do you understand?

313468_10150293752464837_6283366_n 315703_10150293761964837_5410790_n

There are two excepts I’ve read that talk about it; the first from William Butler Yeats and the second from Adrienne Rich:

“Now that my ladder’s gone
I must lie down where all the ladders begin
In the foul rag-and-bone shop of the heart”

and

“..I came to explore the wreck.
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail.
I stroke the beam of my lamp
slowly along the flank
of something more permanent…”

I think that “something more permanent” is what’s found in the rag and bone shop of the heart, and it is home. Home can be carried around inside; it must be. It is comprised of the small anchors set up in new places: the rituals, routines, spaces, images, scents and sounds. It is also the intangible relation to our life-sources; of family, friends, lovers, children, mentors and the natural world. I think all of life is this kind of conversation with the world around us and the upkeep of the relational exchange.

316080_10150293762369837_6803771_n 550455_10150950308094837_125287474_n vscocam179

Image

notes from underground: the Big Apple

02 Tuesday Sep 2014

Tags

fire escape, New York City, subway

Dear Apples,

Subway rides are more than just the means to get from here to there; they are actually mazy little incubators of contemplation.  Down there, meandering through the bowels of the beast, often shoved up against your fellow city dwellers, one often comes to terms with the best and worst of it here in the Big Apple.  The beat of New York is a drum call to action: ambition! purpose! success! …and exciting as it may be, it can also be hardening and alienating, as though you yourself are the drumskin and the city is beating out its relentless footfall across your back.  Winter is particularly harsh once the avenue winds have chased away the sparkles of holiday pixie dust.  But why on earth am I bringing up the winter when we are still tailing off the end of the summer and noticing only the first subtle leaf tints of fall?? There is magic in every place and New York doles out ample shares to those who open their arms long enough.

Have you ever bought a fresh litchi before and peeled away its notched dinosaur skin to discover the pearl inside?  It’s quite an experience.  I hadn’t before I moved here.  The street venders sell them from their carts during stone fruit season at the end of the summer, and I bought a bag out of curiosity.  I actually had no idea what to do with it. Pop the whole of it in my mouth? Slice through the middle?  In my uncertainty, I took a knife and pushed a small puncture next to the stem bed.  A bit of juice ran out and I used my fingernail to coax away the rest of the scaly surface area until a moon colored sphere began to appear.  The skin clings to the pearl, but does not tear at it when removed, so the soft fruit beneath is left entirely intact.  There is a smooth pit inside, which the fruit kind of wraps itself around in a possessive way.  The taste is sweet and flowery. I’m eating them slowly, because they feel like a luxury, and I can imagine their passageway here, and how we can honor the bits of life that bring us joy.

That’s one perk of NYC living.  There are many.  I say this as a reminder to myself, because I can become quite forgetful when I’m aching to be with the ones I love.  I’m almost on the cusp of leaving this city, and some things, such as the litchis of August and September, should not be forgotten.  I love my fire escape too, which offers moments upon moments of much needed respite.  It deserves its own ode.  IMG_4708

And also this vision, as seen from the water walk on Governor’s Island:

Lady Liberty herself, against a most wondrous backdrop of sky.

I am where I am, and for now it’s good enough.  Wishing you contentment in your surroundings today, Apples.

Posted by marie | Filed under dear apples, journal, New York City

≈ Leave a comment

Follow dearapples on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 58 other followers

Instagram

No Instagram images were found.

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • dearapples
    • Join 58 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • dearapples
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...